UC-NRLF 


SB    2fl    317 


GIFT  OF 
Hearst  Fountain 


W.  Costley  Price  1Oc. 


This  is  Number  540 


. J* 


Kansas,  U.3.A.,  April  7.  190$ 


of 
JEaughing  JEand 


A 

MONEY  BACK 
BOOK 


BY  W.  COSTLEY 


Published  by  the  World  Press  I  Incorporated) 
528  Telegraph  Ave,,  Oakland,  Cal. 


PREFACE. 

This  is  a  money  back  book  therefore  I  am  saved 

the  task  of  making  any  apologies  for  it  even  were  I 

so  inclined.    I  have  written  this  book  under  protest,  for 

I  have  waited  in  vain  twenty  years  for  some  author  to 

write  it.     So  I  concluded  to  write  it  myself,  and  here  it 

•ihsfc.-.  Dr.  Jqhpscn:  said  that  it  was  possible  to  be  a  fool 

*in«  severefJr  lafltg'jjrages,  and  that  encourages  me  to  say 

.  to  .those,  -critics  that'  •yvill  spend  their  valuable  time  in 

;  ^arcrfrf'ng  *Qut.  .t«h'e" library  defects  in  the  book  that  they 

have  my  entire  sympathy  and  I  hope  that  their  labors 

will  be  fittingly  rewarded.     I  have  not  aimed  so  much 

to  produce  a  book  of  literary  perfection  as  I  have  to 

present  an  idea — in  fact  two  ideas. 

The  first  is  to  show  on  what  an  idiotic  plan,  or  rather 
lack  of  plan,  the  present  order  of  society  is  based.  Its 
inevitable  and  impending  downfall.  The  second  is  to 
convey  to  the  mind  of  the  reader  an  idea  of  the  new 
order  that  will  be  established  on  the  ruins  of  the  old. 

I  maintain  that  it  is  unthinkable  to  imagine  a  new 
order  based  on  right  and  justice,  without  it  being  based 
on  scientific  principles  and  if  so  it  will  have  to  con- 
form generally  to  the  Plan  of  Laughing  Land. 

W.  C. 


Copyright  1906 
BY  W. 


THE  PLAN  OF  LAUGHING  LAND. 

Dear  Reader:  I  am  a  traveler  and  a  stranger  among 
you.  I  came  from  Laughing  Land.  Of  course  you 
don't  know  where  Laughing  Land  is  and  just  now  I 
can't  tell  you,  but  later  on  after  you  have  heard  all 
that  I  have  to  tell  you  about  it  and  you  should  like 
to  live  in  a  land  like  it  I  will  tell  you  how  to  do  so. 
I  have  tarried  for  some  years  among  you  because  I 
am  very  much  interested  in  your  country.  In  Laugh- 
ing Land  the  people  don't  believe  in  hell,  but  some 
years  ago  one  of  our  people  visited  your  country,  when 
he  returned  he  was  asked  where  he  had  been ;  he  re- 
plied that  he  had  been  to  hell.  Now  our  people  under- 
stood his  meaning  and  when  he  related  what  he  had 
seen  they  concluded  that  he  was  nearly  right  in  his 
statement.  They  were  horrified  to  think'  that  such  a 
grand  country  as  this  should  be  cursed  with  a  popula- 
tion of  barbarians.  Now  you  must  know  that  in  Laugh- 
ing Land  everybody  is  happy.  That  is  why  they  laugh 
from  the  time  they  are  born,  laugh  all  through  life  and 
die  with  a  smile  on  their  lips.  They  are  a  kind  hearted 
and  loving  people  and  when  they  heard  the  tales  that 
the  traveler  told,  they  considered  it  to  be  their  duty 
to  try  to  lead  you  out  of  the  dismal  swamps  and  black 
fogs  of  ignorance  and  barbarism  up  to  the  bright 
hills  of  truth  and  knowledge.  To  show  you  how  to 
banish  the  curse  of  poverty  and  toil  from  your  beau- 
tiful land  and  lift  the  burden  of  care  and  fear  from 
every  heart,  show  you  how  to  solve  all  of  your  social 
and  political  problems,  banish  crime,  prostitution,  labor 
wars,  race  wars,  child  labor,  political  corruption,  busi- 
ness corruption,  adulteration,  bribery  and  the  thousand 
and  one  evils  with  which  you  are  cursed  and  thereby 
kept  in  a  state  of  degradation.  I  have  dwelt  here  long 


enough  to  know  that  you  really  believe  that  your  civili- 
zation is  of  the  highest  and  that  there  is  little  or  no 
room  for  improvement.  Believing  this,  you  allow  all 
kinds  of  crimes  to  be  committed  by  wholesale,  without 
a  word  of  protest.  You  are  so  ignorant  as  not  to  know 
that  when  men  raise  the  price  of  ice  during  the  hottest 
weather,  thereby  preventing  the  poorer  classes  in  your 
great  cities  from  getting  enough  ice  to  keep  the  baby's 
milk  from  souring  and  the  food  from  decaying,  keeping 
cooling  drinks  from  the  fevered  lips  of  the  sick,  they 
thereby  commit  murder  by  wholesale  for  gold.  Nearly 
everybody  in  your  country  is  engaged  directly  or  in- 
directly in  the  business  of  murder,  robbery,  prostitu- 
tion and  crimes  of  all  descriptions.  Your  newspapers 
and  magazines  reek  with  tales  of  corruption  and  crime 
that  pervades  every  strata  of  your  society.  You  like 
to  read  of  these  things.  It  is  interesting  to  read  about 
the  rascality  of  your  senators,  congressmen,  judges, 
business  men  and  captains  of  industry,  and  state  and 
city  officials.  In  describing  your  political  affairs  the 
terms  that  are  oftenest  used  are  boodle,  boodlers,  graft, 
grafters,  bribe,  bribers,  and  you  little  realize  that  the 
record  of  the  news  and  advertisements  in  your  press 
furnish  sufficient  evidence  to  convict  you  of  being  an 
uncivilized  and  barbarous  people.  The  cruel  and 
heartless  struggle  for  gold  and  bread  is  the  result  of 
your  ignorance  of  the  first  principles  of  the  science  of 
political  economy. 

You  have  continually  before  your  eyes  a  picture  of 
work  and  want  of  the  many,  and  idleness,  luxury  ana 
waste  for  the  few.  You  sometimes  use  the  expression, 
"Wealth  beyond  the  dreams  of  avarice."  There  is  no 
such  thing  as  satisfying  the  greed  of  the  avaricious. 
The  more  they  get  the  more  they  want  and  the  more 
they  get  the  more  power  they  have  to  get  more.  If  you 
were  reasonable  creatures  you  could  easily  see  that  a 
few  rich  men  will  soon  own  your  country  if  the  present 
struggle  continues.  I  refer  to  the  current  news  stating 
that  Rockfeller's  income  for  1906  was  $60,000,000  or 
six  per  cent  income  on  one  billion  dollars,  or  three  per 
cent  on  two  billion  dollars.  With  a  few  associates  he 


controls   the   greater   part   of   the   industries   of  your 
country  and  soon  will  control  all. 

The  San  Francisco  Call  of  December  16,  1906,  edi- 
torially deplores  the  fact  that  Harriman,  your  railroad 
king,  had  control  of  27,000  miles  of  railroads  and  had  or 
could  get  money  enough  to  buy  all  the  roads  for  sale, 
mentioning  his  late  purchase  of  the  great  Baltimore 
and  Ohio  system,  the  Salt  Lake  and  Los  Angeles 
electric  roads ;  buying  control  of  the  Chicago  subways, 
a  $30,000,000  venture ;  building  great  car  shops  etc., 
and  concludes  by  stating  his  method  is  to  bond  every 
new  enterprise  and  thus  get  money  to  buy  others.  It 
says :  ''There  is  no  reason  why  this  process  of  absorp- 
tion should  not  go,  on  indefinitely,  and  in  fact,  it  is 
certain  to  go  on  until  the  whole  railroad  system  of  the 
country  is  concentrated  in  two  or  three  hands  or  ulti- 
mately perhaps  in  one  ownership.  It  is  obvious,  more- 
over, that  the  process  will  not  stop  with  railroads." 
The  Call  is  owned  by  a  millionaire,  so  you  see  that 
they  know  the  way  things  are  tending. 

You  poor  people  are  so  stupid  as  not  to  see  that  your 
captains  of  industry  are  rapidly  reducing  all  of  you 
to  a  condition  of  industrial  vassalage.  In  a  few  years 
longer  you  will  awaken  to  find  yourselves  slaves  of  a 
great  corporation  that  will  own  all  of  your  country 
with  its  industries ;  make  all  the  laws  and  keep  you  in 
subjection  with  an  army  of  hired  thugs  and  murderers. 

When  you  arrive  at  that  condition  the  women  and 
children  slaves  of  the  land  can  lay  the  blame  where 
it  belongs,  that  is,  at  the  door  of  the  fool  workingmen 
that  vote  for  the  system  of  private  ownership  of  land 
and  tools.  You  often  use  the  expression  that  wealth 
is  power.  In  Laughing  Land  we  say  knowledge  is 
power. 

Wealth  is  not  powerful  among  a  people  that  are 
possessed  of  the  right  kind  of  knowledge.  With  their 
knowledge  they  command  wealth.  For  instance,  in 
Laughing  Land  every  child  about  the  age  of  fifteen 
knows  nearly  all  that  there  is  to  know  about  the 
science  of  political  economy.  This  is  the  mother  of  the 


sciences  and  even  in  your  dictionaries  it  is  defined 
as  the  science  of  human  affairs.  It  is  such  a  simple 
science  that  if  a  boy  or  girl  in  Laughing  Land  at  the 
age  of  twenty  don't  know  all  that  there  is  to  know 
about  it  we  know  that  they  are  mentally  weak. 

After  I  explain  this  science  and  you  can  see  how 
easily  you  can  learn  all  there  is  to  learn  about  it  and 
what  wonders  this  knowledge  can  do  for  you,  you  will 
marvel  at  your  own  stupidity  and  marvel  still 
more  at  the  stupidity  of  those  among  you  that 
undertake  to  teach  this  science.  The  very  name 
of  the  science  furnishes  the  key  to  the  storehouse  of 
knowledge  and  wealth  that  the  science  contains. 
Economy,  what  does  it  mean?  It  means  the  avoidance 
of  waste.  Waste  in  all  its  forms,  waste  wealth,  waste 
labor,  waste  thought.  Thus,  in  Laughing  Land  noth- 
ing is  wasted,  not  an  hour  of  work  nor  a  vegetable,  nor 
a  fruit ;  not  a  piece  of  coal  or  wood  or  a  crumb  of  bread. 
This  will  appear  more  marvelous  to  you  when  I  tell 
you  that  we  number  over  80,000,000  people,  and  none 
of  them  labor.  They  live  in  palaces  equipped  with 
every  modern  improvement.  They  eat  the  best  of 
food,  they  wear  the  best  of  clothes.  When  they  travel 
they  travel  in  the  most  luxurious  way,  over  the  best  of 
roads.  The  cities  they  live  in  have  no  stores  and 
consequently  horses  and  wagons  are  not  needed,  there- 
fore they  can  keep  the  streets  in  perfect  order,  smooth, 
clean  and  quiet.  In  fact  the  cities  are  built  in  parks, 
where  beautiful  lawns,  shade,  nut  and  fruit  trees 
abound  on  every  hand. 

It  may  be  a  slight  hint  to  you  when  I  tell  you  that 
our  ssytem  of  livng  will  not  permit  of  wasting  an 
acre  of  ground  that  will  grow  anything  useful.  Thus 
millions  upon  millions  of  acres  that  are  not  needed 
for  other  purposes  are  planted  to  walnut,  chestnut, 
almond  and  pecan  trees.  If  we  were  content  to  live 
on  food  of  this  kind  the  supply  would  more  than  suffice 
for  our  needs.  But  as  it  is  it  serves  as  a  food  supply 
for  millions  of  animals  that  we  use  for  food.  Thus 
we  prevent  waste. 


The  trees  that  are  planted  in  our  cities  and  suburbs 
are  not  planted  alone  for  the  purpose  of  utilizing  the 
land  solely  for  economic  reasons,  but  it  is  an  institution 
of  Laughing  Land  based  on  sentiment  and  reason.  We 
plant  a  tree  for  every  child  born  in  Laughing  Land. 
That  tree  is  known  as  the  child's  birth  tree.  When  it 
is  old  enough  to  understand  it  is  taught  to  know  that 
it's  birth  tree  is  it's  very  own.  It  is  taught  how  to 
nurture  and  care  for  it,  to  shelter  and  protect  the  birds 
that  make  their  home  in  its  branches.  But  the  fruit  of 
the  child's  own  birth  tree  is  the  forbidden  fruit  for 
that  child.  It  may  eat  freely  of  all  the  other  trees  of 
the  land  and  no  one  will  say  it  nay,  but  the  fruit  of 
its  own  tree  it  must  not  eat. 

The  economic  and  moral  reasons  upon  which  this  in- 
stitution of  birth  trees  is  grounded  is  to  teach  the  chil- 
dren the  value  and  virtue  of  working  for  the  benefit 
of  others.  The  children  see  the  evidence  constantly 
before  their  eyes  that  they  thereby  provide  themselves 
bountifully  with  fruit.  They  see  with  their  own  eyes 
the  beautiful  results  of  combined  efforts  for  the  com- 
mon good.  In  this  way  they  are  taught  the  simple 
truths  upon  which  the  grand  science  of  political  econ- 
omy is  based. 

Thus  in  Laughing  Land  we  find  it  economical  to  see 
that  every  babe  and  child  has  the  best  of  care,  the  best 
of  surroundings  and  the  best  of  education.  And  to  pro- 
vide bountifully  for  the  needs  of  the  old  people,  sur- 
round them  with  every  evidence  of  love  and  reverence. 

Our  care  of  all  the  children  is  an  investment  that 
pays  magnificent  dividends.  They  are  the  only  ones  that 
are  allowed  to  operate  an  insurance  company  in  the 
land.  There  is  not  an  orphan  in  the  land.  The  parents 
of  the  child  may  be  dead  but  the  child  never  for  an 
instant  lacks  the  best  of  loving  care  that  the  people  can 
provide.  Each  and  every  one  of  them  is  reared  and 
cared  for  as  if  they  were  of  the  blood  royal.  We  grown 
people  do  not  conduct  life  and  accident  or  fire  insur- 
ance companies,  or  sick  and  death  benefit  associations, 
or  fraternal  orders  of  any  kind  that  simply  waste  the 


labor  of  millions  of  people.  We  don't  have  them 
'simply  because  they  are  not  needed.  As  I  said  before, 
we  insure  with  the  children,  and  teach  them  all  that  it 
is  necessary  for  them  to  know  in  order  to  become  use- 
full  members  of  society.  When  they  reach  that  age  of 
their  existence  we  begin  to  draw  our  dividends  and 
these  dividends  insure  us  against  want  or  the  fear  of 
want  as  long  as  we  live. 

There  is  no  such  word  as  charity  used  by  our  people 
because  no  one  needs  charity.  We  are  all  wealthy  and 
well  provided  for  from  birth  to  death  and  have  at- 
tained this  happy  state  by  reason  of  our  knowledge  of 
the  Science  of  Political  Economy. 

What  I  have  said  thus  far  is  merely  a  hint  of  the 
plan  of  Laughing  Land.  I  know  that  the  reader  that 
has  followed  closely  what  I  have  said  remembers  that 
I  stated  that  no  one  labored  in  Laughing  Land,  and 
neither  do  they,  because  it  is  not  necessary  that  they 
should.  By  managing  our  affairs  with  strict  regard  to 
the  science  of  economy  we  can  produce  all  the  wealth 
we  care  to  consume  without  any  one  doing  hard  labor. 
After  I  have  explained  how  this  is  done  you  will  marvel 
at  the  simplicity  of  the  plan.  Before  I  explain  this 
however,  I  want  to  ask  a  few  questions  that  you  will 
be  able  to  answer.  The  answers  will  flash  into  your 
brain  and  you  will  know  that  you  could  not  answer 
differently  if  you  would  answer  truthfully. 

In  your  cities  you  see  thousands  upon  thousands  of 
horses  and  wagons  with  their  drivers  madly  racing 
in  all  directions  delivering  vegetables,  bread,  milk, 
meat,  groceries,  dry  goods,  laundry,  furniture  and  com- 
modities of  all  descriptions.  Did  you  ever  stop  to 
think  that  all  of  these  people  are  racing  around  like 
mad  because  they  are  not  working  according  to  any 
plan  whatever?  Now,  here  is  question  No.  1 :  Suppose 
a  baker  that  has  500  or  1000  customers  scattered  all 
over  the  -city  could  have  these  customers  next  door  to 
his  bakery.  Don't  you  think  he  could  easily  deliver 
their  bread  next  door  without  the  use  of  ten  or  twelve 
horses  and  wagons?  If  he  did  not  need  them  he  would 

8 


not  need  a  foul  and  ill  smelling  stable  to  keep  them  in 
and  would  not  need  the  services  of  a  stableman,  or  a 
blacksmith,  harness  maker,  wagon  maker,  horse  doctor, 
etc.  Now,  if  he  did  not  need  them  there  would  be 
a  dozen  or  two  of  horses  and  men  out  of  work. 

Under  these  circumstances  the  horses  under  your 
foolish  system  would  be  better  off  than  the  men.  They 
would  not  have  to  worry  about  another  job  or  paying 
stable  rent  or  food  bills,  doctor  bills,  etc.  All  of  these 
things  would  be  provided  for  them.  And  even  if  they 
did  suffer  they  would  not  have  families  like  the 
men,  whose  wife  and  offspring  have  to  suffer  with 
them,  if  not  actual  want,  then  anxious  care.  Now, 
suppose  the  customers  of  the  baker  were  also  the  cus- 
tomers of  a  certain  butcher,  don't  you  think  he  could 
supply  them  with  meat  without  the  use  of  horses  and 
wagons  if  he  was  next  door?  The  vegetable  man, 
grocer,  etc.,  could  do  the  same.  The  aggregate  amount 
of  labor  saved  would  be  tremendous.  The  customers 
might  derive  a  benefit  and  the  boss  baker,  grocer, 
butcher,  etc.,  surely  would.  But  the  poor  men  that 
were  thrown  out  of  work  would  suffer.  They  would 
have  to  search  diligently  for  other  positions,  perhaps 
spend  what  little  money  they  had  saved  before  they 
found  another  job. 

Now,  the  fact  is,  that  the  men  that  rule  your  country, 
the  richest  men  in  your  land,  the  so-called  captains  of 
industry,  owe  all  of  their  success  to  the  fact  that  they 
know  the  advantage  to  be  derived  from  combination. 
But  this  knowledge  in  their  hands  is  a  curse  instead  of 
a  blessing.  They  become  selfish,  cruel  and  brutalized. 
They  don't  hesitate  to  commit  any  crime  that  will 
place  more  power  in  their  hands.  There  is  no  such 
thing  as  satisfying  their  greed  for  wealth  and  power 
that  it  gives  them  among  an  ignorant  and  uneducated 
people.  They  don't  hesitate  to  bribe  legislators,  judges, 
officials  high  and  low,  adulterate,  cheat,  lie  and  rob  if 
thereby  they  can  gain  more  gold  and  power.  They 
don't  hesitate  to  exploit  and  rob  even  poor  women 
and  helpless  children,  or  the  maimed,  halt  and  blind. 
There  is  no  crime  too  low  or  brutal  for  them  to  com- 

9 


mit  through  their  agents.  The  nations  led  and  ruled 
by  such  as  these  are  doomed  to  suffer  the  torments  of 
hell  on-  earth. 

I  that  know  you  well  and  know  how  you  have  be- 
come the  victims  of  false  education  and  consequently 
have  low  ideals,  sometimes  stand  in  amazement  at  the 
stupidity  that  you  constantly  exhibit  concerning  mat- 
ters of  the  most  vital  interest  to  your  welfare  individu- 
ally and  collectively.  For  instance,  you  have  what 
you  call  a  republican  form  of  government.  If  I  ask 
what  sort  of  government  a  republican  form  of  govern- 
ment is  ninety  per  cent  of  you  men  could  give  no 
answer  at  all.  The  others  might  say:  It  means  the 
rule  of  the  majority.  I  ask  what  class  in  society  is 
in  the  majority,  the  rich  class  or  the  poor  class.  They 
answer  the  poor  class.  I  ask  if  the  poor  class  or  the 
rich  class  manages  the  political  affairs  of  the  country. 
They  answer  the  rich  class.  I  ask  them  if  that  is  the 
case  why  do  they  call  it  a  republican  form  of  govern- 
ment. They  take  refuge  in  silence. 

Some  say  they  are  republicans  and  others  say  they 
are  democrats.  I  ask  them  to  tell  me  the  difference 
between  them  and  they  take  refuge  in  silence. 

I  ask  them  if  they  are  satisfied  with  the  way  their 
political  affairs  are  managed  and  nearly  all  say  no.  I 
ask  them  to  tell  me  the  meaning  or  definition  of  the 
term  politics  and  nearly  all  remain  silent.  In  a  crowd 
of  a  thousand  people  you  might  find  one  that  would 
answer  that  it  means  to  discuss  and  decide  upon  a 
policy  or  plan  of  conducting  the  affairs  of  the  people 
at  large.  Then  I  ask  if  that  is  so,  what  policy  or  plan 
have  the  poor  people  to  do  away  with  the  misrule  of 
the  rich.  They  remain  silent  because  they  are  ashamed 
to  admit  that  they  have  no  policy  of  their  own  because 
they  haven't  common  sense  enough  to  formulate  one. 

But  they  love  to  think  that  they  are  not  fools  on  mat- 
ters political  and  love  to  go  through  the  forms  of  vot- 
ing. Having  no  policy  of  their  own  they  vote  for  the 
rich  people's  plan  of  government.  The  results  are  seen 
to  be  that  the  rich  people  don't  do  any  useful  labor 

10 


but  enjoy  all  the  luxuries  of  life  while  the  workers  that 
do  all  the  useful  labor  are  poor  and  never  free  from 
the  fear  of  want. 

If  it  was  not  such  a  tragedy  it  would  be  amusing 
to  see  a  long-faced  professor  of  political  economy  that 
you  have  in  your  universities  to  teach  the  science, 
write  big  books  and  give  long  lectures  on  a  science 
that  he  knows  as  little  about  as  a  bug  on  a  twig.  And 
by  the  time  the  students  graduate  under  him  they 
know  nearly  as  little  about  the  science  as  the  professor. 

Now,  in  the  plan  of  Laughing  Land,  if  you  can  find 
in  any  part  of  it  that  it  does  not  provide  for  the  pre- 
vention of  all  waste  you  can  depend  upon  it  that  it  is 
faulty  at  that  point  and  is  not  scientific.  Then  you 
can  reason  out  for  yourself  how  that  waste  can  be 
avoided. 

The  problem  we  have  to  solve  is  this:  Given  a 
country  miles  in  extent  with  magnificent  resources 
that  will  enable  the  population  of  80,000,000  people  to 
live  in  comfort  and  luxury,  each  and  every  one  of  them 
without  their  having  to  perform  hard  labor.  To  those 
unacquainted  with  the  science  of  economy  this  might 
seem  to  be  an  utter  impossibility,  but  the  solution  of 
the  problem  is  the  simplest  thing  imaginable.  In 
Laughing  Land  every  house,  factory,  building,  rail- 
road, wagon  road  etc.,  is  built  in  just  that  place  where 
it  can  be  used  to  the  best  advantage.  Thus  every  city 
is  built  to  fit  into  the  plan  like  a  dovetail  in  a  good 
piece  of  cabinet  work. 

A  LAUGHING  LAND  HOUSE. 

The  houses  are  built  of  the  best  material,  in  five 
sections,  on  a  tract  of  ground  500  feet  square.  On 
each  corner  of  this  square  a  house  is  built  large  enough 
to  accomodate  comfortably  250  to  300  people.  Two 
of  these  houses  are  used  as  residences  and  schools  for 
the  boys  and  girls.  They  are  in  fact  boarding  schools. 
The  two  other  corner  houses  are  used  for  the  residence 
of  the  parents  of  these  children.  Care  is  taken  that 

11 


every  room  has  sunlight  and  a  full  circulation  of  air 
and  furnished  in  the  most  comfortable  manner. 

In  the  centear  of  the  plat  there  is  a  splendid  build- 
ing large  enough  to  contain  a  swimming  bath,  gymna- 
sium, bowling  alleys,  billiard  room,  library,  lecture 
hall,  music  room,  etc.,  large  enough  to  meet  the  needs 
of  the  family  of  about  a  thousand  people. 

The  corner  buildings  are  connected  with  each  other 
and  the  central  building  by  glass-covered  corridors. 
These  corridors  are  not  only  used  for  passageways  be- 
tween the  buildings  but  also  as  conservatories  where 
many  beautiful  flowers  are  kept  for  the  pleasure  of 
the  family.  Beautiful  lawns  and  trees  surround  every 
house;  in  fact  the  cities  present  the  appearance  of 
great  parks.  The  streets  are  wide  and  smooth  and 
made  of  the  best  material.  There  are  no  horses  or 
stores,  or  office  buildings,  or  any  evidence  of  trade  or 
traffic.  There  is  an  atmosphere  of  art  and  refinement 
that  pervades  the  length  and  breadth  of  the  cities. 
Beautiful  statues  and  sparkling  fountains  abound  on 
every  hand. 

If  you  were  in  a  position  to  get  a  bird's  eye  view  of 
a  city  of  Laughing  Land  that  had  a  population  of  200,- 
000  people  you  would  only  see  about  200  houses  or 
buildings.  These  builidngs  are  built  on  the  same 
architectural  plan,  but  this  plan  is  the  best  that  art  and 
science  caji  design  to  meet  the  needs  of  the  people. 
The  city  is  equipped  with  a  street  railway  system  with 
swiftly  moving  electric  cars  that  stop  at  sheltered 
stations  before  every  house.  This  system  enables  the 
citizens  to  travel  over  the  city  in  bad  weather  without 
the  use  of  umbrellas  or  rain  clothing. 

The  roofs  of  the  houses  are  used  as  skating  rinks 
and  wherever  two  or  more  houses  are  on  a  level  the 
roofs  are  connected  by  light  and  strong  bridges  that 
enable  the  people  to  pass  from  one  house  to  the  other 
without  descending  to  the  street.  In  some  cities  nearly 
all  the  houses  are  connected  in  this  way  and  as  nearly 
all  the  people  use  roller  skates  and  bicycles,  they  use 
the  roof  roads  to  a  great  extent  when  traveling  in  the 
city. 

12 


There  is  a  magnificent  system  of  illuminating  the 
city  by  electricity  and  on  festive  occasions  when  the 
city  is  illuminated  by  thousands  of  different  colored 
lights  it  presents  a  sight  so  beautiful  as  never  to  be  for- 
gotten. A  bird's-eye  view  could  not  reveal  to  your 
eyes  a  very  important  part  of  its  magnificent  equip- 
ment. If  you  could  see  the  perfection  of  its  sewer 
system  you  would  marvel  with  wonder  to  see  how  the 
resources  of  science  and  art  had  been  drawn  upon  in 
order  to  make  them  as  perfect  as  possible.  No  sewage 
is  allowed  to  pollute  the  streams  of  the  country  and 
thereby  scatter  the  seeds  of  fever  and  disease  broad- 
cast. Every  city  in  the  land  is  equipped  with  a  great 
reduction  plant  where  the  sewage  and  the  garbage  is 
treated  and  used  as  fertilizer,  etc.  Thus  we  preserve 
our  health  and  increase  our  wealth  at  the  same  time. 
All  of  this  work  is  done  with  the  best  machinery. 

A  catastrophe  like  that  which  swept  your  city  of  San 
Francisco  is  utterly  impossible  in  Laughing  Land, 
because  every  house  is  as  near  fire-proof  as  possible 
and  each  one  is  equipped  with  every  possible  device 
for  extinguishing  fire.  Our  water  systems  are  the  best 
possible  and  the  houses  are  far  enough  apart  to  reduce 
all  danger  of  a  conflagration  to  the  minimum. 

Contrast  this  plan  with  your  cities  where  miles  of 
wooden  buildings  are  joined  as  close  to  the  next  one  as 
possible.  The  great  fires  in  Boston,  Chicago,  Balti- 
more and  San  Francisco  have  not  taught  the  poor  fools 
in  San  Francisco  anything  and  they  are  busy  as  they 
can  be  building  a  city  of  wooden  boxes  ready  for  an- 
other great  fire. 

Under  the  cities  of  Laughing  Land  there  is  a  splen- 
did subway  system  that  taps  every  house  in  the  city. 
A  perfect  railway  system  is  operated  in  these  subways. 
Having  these  we  don't  need  to  have  tens  of  thousands 
of  horses  and  wagons  traveling  the  streets  of  the  city. 
I  see  that  in  your  cities  of  Chicago  and  New  York  you 
have  made  a  silly  attempt  to  introduce  subways.  You 
will  not  be  able  to  derive  much  benefit  from  them  until 
you  learn  to  build  cities  for  subways  instead  of  build- 
ing subways  for  your  cities  that  are  laid  out  like  the 

13 


plan  was  drawn  by  a  lunatic.  For  instance,  to  show 
how  our  subways  save  the  labor  of  millions  of  men,  I 
will  take  the  one  commodity  of  coal  alone.  We  do  not 
handle  coal  from  the  time  it  leaves  the  mines  loaded 
on  trap  bottom  cars  until  it  is  dumped  into  the  coal- 
cellars  of  our  houses  or  our  factories.  We  thus  save 
the  labor  of  millions  of  men  that  under  your  foolish 
system  are  doing  useless  labor  in  shoveling  coal  from 
cars  to  carts,  hauling  it  to  coal  yards,  dumping  it  out, 
weighing  it,  sacking  it,  loading  it  again,  hauling  it  past 
a  hundred  coal  yards  to  its  destination  on  the  other 
side  of  the  city  to  the  fourth  or  fifth  floor  in  a  house 
that  stands  next  door  to  a  coal  yard. 

Just  stop  here  for  a  minute  and  try  to  estimate  the 
amount  of  labor  wasted  in  handling  this  one  com- 
modity. The  milions  of  horses  engaged  in  the  work, 
the  stables  that  shelter  them,  the  great  army  of  host- 
lers, harness  makers,  blacksmiths,  wagon  makers, 
horse  doctors,  etc.,  the  labor  spent  in  raising  these  mil- 
lions of  horses,  providing  food  for  them,  the  clerical 
work  that  goes  with  all  this  waste  of  labor,  etc.  When 
you  thoroughly  grasp  this  idea  you  will  be  able  to 
grasp  the  idea  of  the  magnitude  of  the  idiocy  of  the 
people  that  live  under  and  support  a  wasteful  and 
cruel  system  like  this  that  you  call  the  competitive 
system. 

The  other  things  that  we  require  are  handled  in  the 
same  method  that  we  handle  coal.  Apart  from  the  city 
proper  we  establish  our  system  of  factories,  mills,  bak- 
eries, laundries,  etc. 

These  are  all  built  on  locations  that  are  considered 
best  for  the  most  perfect  economy  to  be  observed  in  the 
administration  of  affairs.  For  instance,  wheat  is 
shipped  directly  from  the  farm  to  our  flour  mill  and 
next  to  the  flour  mill  we  have  a  great  bakery  equipped 
with  the  very  best  of  machinery  and  ovens  that  are 
large  enough  to  bake  all  the  bread  and  cake  needed 
in  the  city.  These  are  loaded  on  railway  cars  and  sent 
to  the  city  through  the  subways  to  every  house. 
Groceries  and  supplies  of  every  kind  are  sent  in  the 
same  way.  We  have  one  great  laundry  equipped  with 

14 


the  best  machinery  and  the  laundry  is  brought  from  the 
city  and  returned  by  means  of  the  subway. 

Tailoring,  renovating,  shoe  repaiirng,  etc.,  is  done  on 
the  same  great  scale  and  where  machinery  can  be  used 
to  advantage  the  best  is  used. 

On  the  suburbs  of  the  city  are  great  vegetable  gar- 
dens where  all  of  the  vegetables  that  are  required  in 
the  city  are  produced.  These  gardens  are  equipped 
with  every  possible  device  that  can  save  labor.  Whole 
acres  of  ground  can  be  watered  by  simply  turning  a 
valve.  Hundreds  of  acres  are  under  glass  and  all  sorts 
of  fruits  and  vegetables  are  produced  artificially.  The 
head  gardener  knows  to  a  pound  just  how  many  vege- 
tables are  needed  in  the  city  and  that  many  are  sent 
and  no  more,  and  thus  all  waste  is  avoided. 

Now  compare  your  own  wasteful  and  idiotic  method 
with  our  scientific  plan.  You  have  no  system  and  con- 
sequently waste  millions  of  tons  of  vegetables  annu- 
ally, besides  the  waste  labor  of  hundreds  of  thousands 
of  men  and  horses  that  are  engaged  directly  and  in- 
directly in  the  business.  In  the  first  place  the  men 
that  raise  vegetables  don't  know  how  many  his  com- 
petitors are  raising.  When  they  are  ready  for  market 
they  are  sent  to  the  city  in  the  middle  of  the  night  or 
early  morning,  where  they  are  delivered  to  the  whole- 
sale market.  There  they  are  dumped  out  and  dis- 
played for  sale.  Hundreds  of  people  are  engaged  in 
the  business  of  selling  the  same  kind  of  vegetables 
and  fruits,  etc.  Thousands  of  keen  business  men  and 
women  rise  early  in  the  morning  so  as  to  get  to  the 
market  as  early  as  possible,  where  they  haggle  and 
bargain  like  the  fools  that  they  are.  What  they  buy 
is  again  loaded  and  taken  to  a  thousand  different 
vegetable  and  fruit  stores.  There  the  stock  is  dumped 
out  again  and  displayed  for  sale.  Thousands  of  fnen 
and  boys  with  horses  and  wagons  scatter  over  the  city 
to  get  the  orders  of  the  customers.  Fifty  thousand 
different  orders  are  collected  in  this  way  and  by  tele- 
phone, etc.  These  fifty  thousand  orders  have  to  be 
filled ;  selected,  weighed,  wrapped,  boxed,  every  item 
noted  and  kept  account  of.  A  very  bedlam  of  noise 

15 


and  bustle  accompanies  all  of  these  various  processes. 

The  thousands  of  wagons  scatter  in  all  directions 
racing  like  mad  to  deliver  their  route  on  time.  All 
of  the  routes  cross  and  recross  thousands  upon  thou- 
sands of  times.  It  is  no  unusual  sight  to  see  a  half 
dozen  vegetable  wagons  delivering  in  the  same  block 
at  the  same  time.  It  is  seldom  that  they  have  two 
customers  adjoining.  The  stock  that  is  not  disposed 
of  in  this  way  is  sorted  and  resorted  so  as  to  show  the 
best  on  top.  I  lundreds  of  tons  decay  before  it  is  sold. 
The  whole  process  is  worked  out  as  if  it  was  planned 
by  a  raving  lunatic  and  as  if  there  was  not  waste  enough 
already,  peddlers  with  their  wagons  travel  all  over  the 
city  and  stand  next  door  to  a  vegetable  store  and  shout 
at  the  top  of  their  voices,  "potato-oo-es,  cabbages, 
turnips,  fine  apples,"  etc.  Your  grave  and  reverend  pro- 
fessor of  political  economy  will  pass  through  the  bustle 
and  roar  of  your  cities  with  a  smile  on  his  silly  old 
face  and  say  to  himself,  "This  is  indeed  a  splendid 
system." 

In  our  cities  we  have  a  pneumatic  tube  system  that 
reaches  every  house.  By  using  these  tubes  the  mail  for 
a  great  city  can  be  distributed  in  a  few  minutes.  We 
don't  have  a  half  dozen  newspapers  printing  the  same 
foreign,  domestic  and  local  news.  We  only  have  one 
paper  in  each  city  and  there  are  no  advertisements  in 
that  one.  The  papers  are  sent  to  our  houses  through 
the  tubes  and  are  distributed  in  a  few  minutes.  We 
have  other  use  for  our  children  than  to  abuse  them 
by  compelling  them  to  rise  early  in  the  morning  and 
sell  papers  in  all  sorts  of  weather,  cold  winter  storms 
and  rains.  There  is  no  better  evidence  of  your  bar- 
barism needed  than  to  see  your  children,  crippled,  blind 
and  old  men  and  women  selling  newspapers,  tips  on 
horse  races,  lead  pencils,  etc.  The  fact  that  you  allow 
your  little  children  to  be  used  as  messengers  to  carry 
messages  into  dens  of  vice  shows  what  depth  of  degra- 
dation you  have  reached.  But,  being  barbarians,  you 
can't  see  the  wrong  that  you  inflict  on  the  innocent 
children. 

Every  house  in  Laughing  Land  has  a  telephone  and 

16 


telegraph  office  that  enables  the  people  to  keep  con- 
stantly in  touch  with  the  news  of  the  world.  Every 
house,  work-shop  and  factory  is  provided  with  phono- 
graphs and  mechanical  musical  instruments  of  the  best 
and  the  people  can  listen  to  the  reproduction  of  the 
best  music,  singing,  lectures,  etc.,  whenever  they  wish. 
In  fact,  the  lives  of  the  people  are  spent  in  a  constant 
round  of  healthful  enjoyment  that  does  not  cease  even 
when  they  are  at  work.  I  will  ask  you  to  be  content 
for  a  while  with  this  brief  description  of  a  city  in 
Laughing  Land  until  1  describe  to  you  how  the  country 
or  farm  is  scientifically  organized  even  to  its  fartherest 
limits. 

THE  COUNTRY  IN  LAUGHING  LAND. 

A  traveler  from  your  country  leaving  a  city  in  Laugh- 
ing Land  would  see  a  sight  so  vastly  different  from 
what  you  see  in  this  country  that  he  would  be  inclined 
to  think  that  he  was  in  a  paradise.  But  I  must  tell 
you  that  in  our  land  we  have  no  advantage  of  you 
whatever  in  the  way  of  superior  inventions,  natural 
resources,  etc. 

The  only  advantages  we  have  is  in  the  scientific  way 
we  manage  our  affairs.  On  the  suburbs  of  our  cities 
you  would  first  see  the  vast  vegetable  gardens.  Pass- 
ing these  you  would  enter  the  great  dairy  farm  with  its 
thousand-  ,\vs  oi  the  best  breeds,  magnificent 

stables  equipped  with  every  possible  device  for  milk- 
ing, feeding  and  cleaning  the  cows  and  stables;  the 
great  ice  plant  for  cooling  this  vast  quantity  of  milk, 
the  great  creamery  with  its  butter  and  cheese  making 
machines,  the  sterilizing  department,  etc.  You  would 
not  find  July  one  engaged  in  doctoring  the  milk,  butter 
or  cheese  with  poisonous  preservatives  and  adulter- 
ants. 

When  the  foods  leave  the  dairy  they  are  shipped 

in   refrigerator   cars   that   deliver   them   to   the   store- 

•   the  houses  in  the  city  and  as  every  house 

has  an  ice  plant  the  consumers  keep  the  food  in  first 

class  condition  until  r 

Xow  please  combine  this  system  of  handling  these 

17 


things  with  your  own,  that  allows  your  cows  to  be 
owned  privately  and  kept  in  filthy  surroundings,  where 
diseased  and  healthy  cows  are  kept  together,  the 
milk  adulterated,  the  ice  controlled  by  a  trust  that 
raises  the  price  in  the  hottest  weather. 

Take  the  pains  to  read  the  reports  of  the  hundreds 
of  thousands  of  men,  women  and  children,  mostly  chil- 
dren, that  are  annually  murdered  by  your  honorable 
business  men  in  the  milk  and  ice  business.  The  re- 
ports show  that  in  your  great  cities  the  peor  die  off 
four  times  faster  than  the  well-to-do  and  the  rich. 
This  is  caused  by  the  filthy  tenements  they  live  in,  bad 
air  and  defective  sanitary  arrangements,  lack  of  proper 
food  and  proper  care  in  sickness,  etc.  The  doctors, 
druggists  and  undertakers  all  prey  upon  these  helpless, 
ignorant  people.  Now  ask  yourself  if  you  are  a  civil- 
ized man  or  woman  when  you  Stand  Pat  for  it. 

After  leaving  the  dairy  farm  you  enter  the  agricult- 
ural district  proper.  You  would  not  see  millions  of 
miles  of  fences,  bad  roads  full  of  mud  and  dust,  tumble 
down  farm  houses  and  barns,  rickety  bridges,  dismal 
looking  and  dirty  country  towns,  seedy  looking  and 
shabby  people.  If  it  happened  to  be  a  wheat  grow- 
ing country  you  would  see  a  wheat  field  miles  in  ex- 
tent and  not  a  fence  in  sight.  If  it  was  harvest  time 
you  would  see  the  work  being  done  with  the  aid  of  the 
best  machinery,  great  combined  harvesters  and  thresh- 
ers, power  trucks  for  taking  the  grain  to  the  great 
barns  or  cars  as  fast  as  it  would  be  threshed.  You 
would  see  a  great  farm  house,  large  enough  to  accom- 
modate all  the  people  that  were  required  to  operate 
this  great  tract  of  land.  This  would  be  built  on  the 
same  first-class  plan  as  the  houses  in  the  city,  equipped 
with  every  possible  convenience  for  the  comfort  and 
amusement  of  the  people.  Lawns,  useful  and  beautiful 
trees  and  plants,  statues,  fountains,  etc.,  would  sur- 
round the  house.  Play  grounds  and  schools  for  the 
children,  great  barns  for  storing  the  crops  and  the 
farm  machinery,  horses,  cows,  chickens,  etc.,  repair 
shops  and  blacksmith  and  harness  shops,  etc.  All  of 
these  buildings  are  protected  by  a  first-class  fire  guard 

18 


and  water  system,  that  can  be  used  when  needed  to 
water  the  crops  in  a  dry  season.  In  fact,  a  farm  is 
almost  a  complete  city  in  itself.  It  is  equipped  with 
a  telephone  and  telegraph  system  and  a  perfect  railway 
system  taps  every  farm,  and  as  the  roads  are  smooth 
and  well  kept,  automobiles  are  extensively  used  by 
the  people  in  going  to  and  from  their  work  on  the 
farm. 

Each  farm  has  a  head  farmer  or  superintendent,  with 
his  assistants,  foremen,  etc.  These  positions  are  elec- 
tive and  the  operators  on  the  farm  elect  them.  It  is 
the  duty  of  the  head  farmer  to  report  the  condition  of 
the  farm,  the  condition  and  amount  of  the  crop,  etc., 
to  his  superior,  who  is  a  commander  of  a  farm  district 
or  division.  This  official  reports  to  his  superior  officer 
the  commanding  farmer-general  of  the  country.  A 
national  bulletin  is  published  daily  giving  all  the  news 
and  condition  of  the  crops,  etc.  With  this  scientific 
organization,  if  the  necessity  arises  for  ten  or  twenty 
thousand  men  to  gather  a  crop  quickly  or  give  assist- 
ance where  it  is  needed,  the  officer  in  command  of  the 
farms  of  the  country  details  the  men  from  the  emer- 
gency squad  from  as  many  houses  as  needed.  Every 
citizen  of  Laughing  Land  has  to  serve  one  month, 
more  or  less,  on  the  emergency  squad;  that  means 
that  he  or  she  is  subject  to  sudden  calls  if  their  serv- 
ices are  needed  in  case  of  emergency.  By  this  sys- 
tem all  loss  of  crops  for  lack  of  assistance  is  prevented. 

Lender  this  system  it  can  be  seen  at  a  glance  just 
how  much  wheat,  corn,  etc.,  as  the  case  might  be,  is 
raised  in  a  year,  and  just  how  much  labor  time  it  took 
to  raise  it.  I  mention  this  here  in  order  that  I  can 
refer  to  it  later  when  I  explain  the  money  system  of 
the  country. 

All  of  the  farms  are  run  on  as  large  a  scale  as  econ- 
omy dictates,  and  the  land  best  suited  for  certain 
products  is  planted  accordingly.  The  level  lands  as 
far  as  practicable  are  planted  with  those  crops  that  can 
be  handled  by  machinery.  The  hill  lands,  where  ma- 
chinery cannot  be  used  to  advantage,  is  given  over  to 
crops  that  need  to  be  handled  by  hand,  like  beans,  mel- 

19 


ons,  grapes,  etc. 

THE  GRAZING  LANDS. 

Adjoining  the  farm  lands  proper  there  is  a  vast  ter- 
ritory set  apart  for  stock  raising.  This  industry,  like 
all  the  others,  is  operated  on  the  same  scientific  plan. 
Great  sheds  are  erected  at  the  most  available  points 
on  the  ranges  in  order  to  protect  the  cattle  from  cold 
winter  storms,  snow,  etc.  Great  supplies  of  food  are 
kept  in  reserve  and  in  case  of  lack  of  rain  and  conse- 
quent lack  of  food  on  the  ranges,  the  reserve  stock  of 
food  in  every  farm  house  in  the  country  can  be  used 
in  case  of  need.  Thus  the  ranges  are  kept  in  perfect 
condition,  diseased  cattle  are  weeded  out  and  the 
herds  constantly  improved.  As  the  demand  dictates, 
these  cattle  are  driven  into  fattening  corrals,  where 
they  are  stall  fed  and  put  in  perfect  condition.  Slaugh- 
ter houses,  ice  plants,  etc.,  are  located  at  the  most 
advantageous  points  on  the  ranges. 

Vast  sections  of  the  country  suitable  for  the  pur- 
pose are  set  aside  as  timber  culture  land  and  game 
preserves.  All  useful  wild  game  is  preserved  in  these 
reserves, — deer,  antelope,  elk,  buffalo,  bear  and  wild 
fowls  of  all  kinds.  These  game  preserves  furnish  a 
very  important  part  of  the  food  supply  of  the  people 
with  little  expenditure  of  labor.  Bee  culture  is  an- 
other very  important  industry,  being  organized  on  a 
national  scale  they  are  cultivated  in  every  available 
place  and  they  produce  a  large  supply  of  pure  food 
with  very  little  labor  expended. 

Under  our  system  of  national  organization  of  indus- 
tries every  animal  and  plant  that  is  useful  to  society 
is  cultivated  under  the  best  possible  conditions.  And 
on  the  other  hand,  every  plant  and  animal  that  is  use- 
less is  ruthlessly  exterminated. 

Now  that  I  have  described  the  organized  plan  by 
which  the  industries  of  the  country  are  operated,  you 
can  plainly  see  that  the  whole  is  simply  a  great 
machine  for  the  purpose  of  producing  and  distributing 
commodities  of  wealth  with  the  least  expenditure  of 
labor  and  effort.  It  now  remains  for  me  to  tell  you 

20 


something  about  the  people  that  operate  this  great 
machine.  The  money  that  is  used  and  the  incentive 
to  effort  that  urges  all  to  do  their  best.  In  order  to  do 
this  I  will  have  to  take  you  back  to  the  city.  I  say 
city  because  when  I  describe  one  city  the  same  descrip- 
tion will  serve  for  all  of  the  cities  of  the  land. 

THE  CITIZENS  OF  LAUGHING  LAND. 

Every  child  born  in  Laughing  Land  is  born  under 
the  most  favorable  conditions.  The  mother  is  pro- 
vided with  the  best  of  care ;  as  soon  as  she  desires  the 
infant  is  placed  in  the  nursery  of  the  house,  where  it 
is  provided  with  the  best  of  nurses  and  medical  atten- 
tion. It  is  directly  under  the  watchful  eyes  of  its 
mother.  When  it  is  old  enough  to  play  with  toys  it 
is  provided  with  them.  When  it  is  able  to  under- 
stand it  is  taught  to  play  with  letter  blocks,  color  balls, 
etc.  As  they  progress  children  are  taught  to  paste 
pictures  of  animals,  plants,  etc.,  and  thereby  learn 
their  names.  They  are  then  shown  how  to  play  with 
a  sectional  globe  of  the  world,  to  arrange  the  conti- 
nents, islands,  mountains,  rivers,  lakes,  etc.  Figures 
of  animals  and  the  different  nations  of  the  world  are 
given  to  them  and  they  are  taught  to  place  them  in 
their  respective  countries.  In  this  way,  while  they  are 
at  play  the  foundation  of  their  education  is  laid.  Later 
on  they  are  taught  to  make  simple  little  toys,  such 
as  kites,  pin-wheels,  etc.  Sectional  toys  substantially 
made  are  presented  to  them  and  they  are  taught  to 
take  them  apart  and  put  them  together.  They  learn 
to  know  at  a  glance  where  any  section  of  a  toy  belongs. 
In  this  way  they  are  taught  their  first  lesson  in  order. 
As  they  advance  in  ability  they  are  taught  to  use  sim- 
ple tools  and  make  simple  toys,  wagons,  houses,  wind 
mills,  etc.  When  they  are  about  twelve  years  of  age 
they  are  sent  to  the  great  city  school  and  playground 
in  the  center  of  the  city.  Here  their  studies  are 
directed  to  learning  the  mechanical  arts  while  taking 
their  grammer  school  course.  Here  the  boys  are 
taught  to  make  automobiles,  gas  engines,  elevators, 
and  all  kinds  of  machines  in  miniature ;  to  make  and 

21 


operate  miniature  railways,  electric  plants,  steamships, 
etc.  They  are  taught  how  to  make  a  model  of  a 
Laughing  Land  house  from  the  subway  to  the  roof. 

Under  a  school  system  like  this  when  a  boy  is  about 
seventeen  years  old  he  knows  at  least  half  a  dozen 
mechanical  trades.  For  you  must  know  that  in 
Laughing  Land  we  don't  produce  any  common  labor- 
ing men  or  women.  The  girls  are  taught  to  sew  com- 
mon things,  such  as  dust  clothes,  and  to  make  little 
repairs  to  clothing,  etc.  Later  on  they  are  taught  how 
to  design  and  make  doll  dresses,  hats,  etc.  As  they 
progress  they  are  taught  how  to  make  baby  clothes, 
and  then  their  innocent  play  is  turned  to  practical  use. 
When  they  are  old  enough  they  take  their  course  in 
domestic  economy.  The  cooking  school  class  is  next 
to  the  kitchen  of  the  house,  and  as  fast  as  the  girls 
graduate  they  are  allowed  to  take  their  turn  in  the 
kitchen,  where  they  get  practical  experience.  Every 
girl  has  to  take  her  course  in  the  kitchen,  dining 
room,  the  upstairs  department,  the  nursery,  and  then 
as  kindergarten  teacher.  By  the  time  she  reaches  this 
station  it  is  time  she  should  begin  her  high  school 
studies,  where  she  will  learn  music,  languages,  design- 
ing, fancy  needle  work,  etc. 

When  the  boys  and  girls  graduate  from  high  school 
they  take  up  the  active  duties  of  life.  While  taking 
their  college  course  they  must  devote  one  hour  a  day 
to  useful  employment.  When  they  are  so  employed 
the  value  of  their  services  compensates  for  all  that  they, 
consume,  so  that  their  education  from  this  stage  is 
not  a  tax  on  the  people.  The  boys  and  girls  are  al- 
lowed to  choose  that  line  of  work  that  best  suits  their 
taste.  None  of  the  work  that  they  are  called  upon  to 
perform  will  be  hard  or  toilsome.  Their  work  will 
all  be  equally  useful  to  the  community.  For  instance, 
there  are  so  many  students  required  to  fill  the  classes 
in  the  medical  colleges.  The  boys  and  girls  have  an 
equal  show.  Those  passing  the  best  examinations  are 
chosen  to  fill  these  vacancies.  Students  for  the  other 
professions  are  chosen  in  the  same  way.  If  an  ambi- 
tious boy  or  girl  fails  to  pass  the  first  time,  they  are 

22 


permitted  to  take  the  examination  on  the  next  exam- 
ination day.  By  this  method  all  the  boys  and  girls 
have  an  even  show  and  the  people  have  the  advantage 
of  having  those  best  qualified  for  a  position  or  a  cer- 
tain line  of  work  to  do  that  work. 

Outside  of  the  professional  lines  there  are  vacancies 
to  be  filled  in  many  lines  of  work.  There  are  the 
ranks  of  the  skilled  trades,  the  apprentices  for  the 
gardening  and  farming  class,  the  household  duty  class, 
etc.  As  all  of  the  boys  have  received  a  fair  training 
in  these  lines  the  selections  are  made  by  lot  and  the 
boy  drawing  a  carpenter  job  is  placed  under  the  direc- 
tion of  the  carpentering  department.  If  he  draws  a 
household  duty  job  he  is  placed  in  his  own  house, 
where  he  takes  the  place  of  janitor,  elevator  boy,  engi- 
neer, etc.  After  the  boys  are  divided  up  in  this  way, 
they  are  permitted  to  exchange  jobs  before  they  settle 
down  to  work.  As  apprentices  they  are  simply  a 
reserve  body  to  act  as  substitutes  for  those  that  are 
regulars  in  their  line.  The  working  day  is  about  two 
hours,  six  days  in  the  week,  or  less  time  a  day  for 
seven  days  a  week.  So  you  see  the  college  students 
have  plenty  of  time  to  study  and  enjoy  themselves 
after  doing  their  day's  work.  If  they  are  ambitious  to 
become  artists,  writers,  inventors,  etc.,  they  have 
plenty  of  time  to  devote  to  the  study  that  they  like 
best. 

As  rapid  and  safe  travel  is  one  of  the  principal  fea- 
tures of  Laughing  Land  the  students  in  a  few  minutes 
can  go  from  any  part  of  the  city  to  the  college  that  is 
situated  on  the  most  available  site. 

The  girls  also  choose  the  line  of  work  that  they 
prefer  and  take  the  necessary  examinations.  Failing 
these,  they  are  apportioned  during  their  college  course 
to  do  their  share  of  work  in  the  household,  the  laun- 
dry, fruit  preserving  factories,  weaving  mills,  clothing 
factories,  etc.  They  have  an  equal  chance  to  secure 
any  position  that  they  may  aspire  to,  whether  it  is  in 
the  professional  field  or  not.  If  they  are  competent  to 
pass  the  examinations  they  are  not  barred  on  account 
of  sex.  During  their  leisure  hours  they  can  devote 

23 


their  time  to  the  study  of  music,  painting,  sculpture 
and  art,  and  science  in  all  its  branches.  If  they  are 
not  fairly  accomplished  in  one  of  these  lines  the  fault 
is  wholly  their  own.  After  the  college  course  is  fin- 
ished they  are  considered  to  be  full  fledged  citizens 
and  enlisted  units  in  the  industrial  army  of  the  nation. 

THE  MONEY  OF  LAUGHING  LAND. 

I  have  outlined  briefly  the  plan  of  organization  of 
the  industries  and  the  education  of  the  people.  It 
remains  to  tell  you  about  the  money  that  is  used. 
This  money  can  be  compared  to  the  oil  on  a  machine. 
It  makes  the  system  work  smoothly.  It  is  absolutely 
scientific.  Money  that  nurtures  virtue  instead  of  vice ; 
money  that  cannot  be  stolen ;  money  that  cannot  be 
lost;  money  that  cannot  be  used  to  bribe;  money 
that  cannot  buy  virtue ;  money  that  cannot  feed  vice — 
in  fact,  a  perfect  money. 

You  remember  that  in  speaking  of  the  wheat 
growing  industry  I  showed  how  it  was  known 
by  the  department  of  agriculture  just  how  many 
bushels  of  wheat  was  raised  in  a  season  and  how  many 
men  were  employed,  and  how  many  hours  of 
work  it  took  to  produce  it.  The  amount  and  the  time 
it  took  to  produce  all  other  commodities  is  ascertained 
in  the  same  way.  Thus  the  labor  time  it  cost  to  pro- 
duce a  pound  of  butter,  a  suit  of  clothes,  a  hat,  a  pound 
of  meat,  etc.,  can  be  closely  estimated.  Then  there 
is  to  be  considered  the  time  spent  by  those  that  in- 
directly aided  in  producing  these  commodities.  There 
are  the  services  of  the  railway  people,  the  doctors,  the 
civil  servants,  the  scientist, — in  fact  all  of  those  that 
rendered  useful,  services  to  society.  The  claim  of  the 
children  and  the  exempts,  such  as  those  afflicted  with 
sickness,  accident,  etc.  Then  there  are  the  retired 
workers,  the  crippled,  blind,  etc.  All  of  these  have  a 
just  claim  upon  the  actual  producers'  product  in  pay- 
ment for  service  rendered  to  them  in  childhood,  their 
education,  the  protection  given  to  them  in  sickness, 
accident  and  old  age,  etc.  Calculating  from  this  basis, 
the  amount  of  social  labor  time,  as  distinct  from  actual 

24 


labor  time  spent  in  producing  a  given  commodity  is 
taken  as  a  standard  of  value  and  a  measure  of  price. 
Thus,  if  it  cost  a  half  second  of  social  labor  time  to 
produce  a  loaf  of  bread  the  price  of  the  loaf  to  be  con- 
sumed would  be  one  second  of  actual  labor  time  more 
or  less  as  the  case  might  be.  A  suit  of  clothes  that 
cost  one  half  day  of  social  labor  time  to  produce  would 
be  sold  at  the  price  of  one  day's  actual  labor  time.  The 
difference  between  actual  labor  time  and  social  labor 
time  is  estimated  yearly  by  the  heads  of  the  different 
departments.  If  a  mistake  is  made  one  year  it  will 
rectify  itself  the  next.  For  instance,  if  the  supply  of 
cloth  shows  a  tendency  to  exceed  the  reserve  supply 
that  is  considered  necessary  to  always  keep  on  hand, 
the  cloth  mills  are  slowed  down  and  the  dispaced 
workers  are  drafted  to  some  other  department  that  has 
no  surplus,  or  not  a  sufficient  surplus  of  products.  The 
price  of  cloth  is  reduced  as  it  has  been  demonstrated 
that  fewer  workers  can  produce  all  that  is  needed. 
Thus  every  member  of  society  derives  a  direct  benefit 
when  a  surplus  is  produced.  On  the  other  hand,  if  the 
wheat  or  corn  crop  is  not  as  large  as  usual  and  the 
reserve  stores  of  wheat  have  to  be  drawn  upon,  the 
price  of  bread  is  raised  to  every  consumer.  In  this  way 
every  member  of  society  pays  their  share  to  sustain 
those  workers  that  have  through  no  fault  of  their  own 
failed  to  produce  the  usual  amount  of  grain  per  head. 
You  can  easily  see  that  this  system  of  estimating  price 
works  mechanically  and  automatically. 

The  actual  money  used  in  exchange  is  given  to  each 
citizen  every  1st  of  January,  in  the  shape  of  a  labor 
check  book.  In  this  book  he  or  she  writes  their  signa- 
tures and  their  photograph  is  placed  therein.  The 
number  of  their  house  and  district  is  stated.  Sur- 
rounded by  these  precautions  the  book  cannot  be  used 
by  any  other  than  the  one  it  is  issued  to.  When  the 
bearers  work  the  time  that  they  work  is  credited  to 
them  in  their  book  by  the  head  of  the  department  in 
which  they  work.  When  they  buy  anything  they  are 
debited  with  the  social  labor  cost  of  what  they  buy. 
Thus  it  can  be  seen  at  a  glance  at  their  check  book 

25 


just  how  they  stand  with  society.  If  there  is  a  balance 
in  their  favor  they  can  buy  anything  that  they  wish 
from  the  store  house  of  their  homes  or  order  it  from 
the  factories  as  long  as  the  balance  lasts.  When  the 
accounts  are  even  it  shows  conclusively  that  the  bearer 
has  no  claim  on  society.  This  rule  of  course  doesn't 
apply  to  the  exempts,  but  only  to  the  able  bodied  men 
and  women.  Thus  you  will  see  that  there  is  no  pro- 
vision made  for  able  bodied  beggars  for  there  is  no  ex- 
cuse for  begging  where  work  is  provided  for  everyone. 
There  are  no  restrictions  placed  on  the  time  people 
choose  to  work.  When  all  are  working  in  harmony 
there  is  no  waste  of  labor.  One  hour's  work  per  day 
will  suffice  to  keep  the  individual  supplied  with  all 
the  necessaries  of  life. 

Two  hours  of  work  will  supply  them  with  neces- 
saries, comforts  and  not  a  few  luxuries.  Those  that 
desire  to  take  vacations,  own  automobiles,  join  yacht 
clubs,  etc.,  can  work  an  hour  or  two  longer  per  day  and 
with  the  increased  income  supply  themselves  with  any 
luxury  that  they  desire.  It  is  not  unusual  for  a  num- 
ber of  individuals  to  club  together  and  work  eight 
hours  a  day  for  a  year  or  so  and  with  the  credit  thus 
obtained  charter  a  yacht  from  the  government  and  take 
a  cruise  wherever  they  desire.  Every  family  that 
desires  it  can  have  an  automobile  simply  by  extending 
their  hours  of  work  and  with  the  credits  obtained  buy 
one.  In  fact,  in  Laughing  Land  everybody  can  enjoy 
luxuries  that  are  only  enjoyed  by  the  rich  among  you. 

When  we  wish  to  travel  in  foreign  countries  we  buy 
gold  and  silver  from  the  government  in  just  the  same 
way  that  we  buy  bread.  That  is,  by  paying  the  social 
labor  cost  of  producing  the  gold  and  silver.  The 
things  that  we  buy  from  foreign  countries  is  paid  for 
in  gold  or  silver  or  other  commodities.  These  ex- 
changes are  carried  on  by  our  national  purchasing 
department.  I  will  leave  you  with  this  brief  sketch  of 
the  money  of  the  people  and  the  workings  of  exchange 
and  call  your  attention  to  the  following  facts  that  no 
doubt  you  have  noticed:  In  the  plan  here  outlined 
you  can  find  no  room  in  this  society  for  any  but  actual 

26 


useful  workers.  You  will  find  no  place  for  business 
men,  lawyers,  police,  insurance  men,  real  estate  or 
captains  of  industry,  stock  brokers,  speculators,  no 
trade  unions  or  fraternal  orders,  no  customs  officers, 
bankers,  contractors,  drummers,  peddlers,  agents, 
tramps,  philanthrophists,  or  charitable  societies,  no 
night  schools,  or  children's  aid  societies,  no  prostitutes 
and  the  great  army  of  men  that  make  a  living  from 
their  shame,  no  great  army  of  political  roustabouts  and 
ward-heelers,  no  trust  or  labor  problems,  no  strikes 
or  lockouts.  If  you  will  study  this  plan  you  will  see 
how  it  makes  it  utterly  impossible  for  these  useless 
people  to  find  a  home  in  Laughing  Land. 

I  have  given  you  a  hint  as  to  the  way  the  homes  are 
conducted.  It  remains  to  give  a  closer  look  into  the 
plan  upon  which  they  are  conducted.  In  the  first  place 
the  women  are  entirely  independent  of  the  men  as  far 
as  depending  upon  them  as  bread  winners  is  concerned. 
Under  the  system  the  woman's  work  is  as  valuable  to 
society  as  the  work  of  the  men  and  they  are  paid  ac- 
cordingly. If  they  are  working  in  the  household  their 
labor  check  book  is  credited  by  the  head  house  keeper 
with  the  time  she  works.  If  her  duties  are  outside  in 
the  great  laundry  or  other  of  the  departments  she  is 
paid  the  same  as  are  the  men.  When  she  buys  she  is 
debited  just  as  are  the  men.  Thus  it  is  plainly  seen 
that  she  is  no  longer  dependent  upon  the  whims  of 
men  in  order  to  get  along  in  the  world.  She  has  as 
much  show  if  she  is  homely  as  if  she  is  comely.  She 
don't  need  to  marry  for  a  home  or  for  any  other  con- 
sideration save  love  alone.  She  is  surrounded  with 
every  uplifting  and  refining  influence.  She  can  look  to 
the  futur€  full  of  confidence  that  as  long  as  she  dis- 
charges her  duties  to  society,  society  will  discharge  its 
duty  towards  her.  Thus  she  is  a  free  woman  and 
no  longer  the  slave  of  man,  but  his  equal  politically 
and  economically.  In  Laughing  Land  a  family  of  a 
thousand  people  become  related  by  blood  or  marriage 
in  the  course  of  three  generations.  This  is  brought 
about  by  the  fact  that  there  is  no  need  of  families 
separating  and  going  to  the  four  corners  of  the  earth 

27 


to  make  a  living.  Consequently  in  most  cases  they 
stay  at  home  with  their  own  people  and  thus  it  is  that 
the  children  are  born  and  reared  among  their  own  kin. 
The  head  housekeeper  is  elected  by  the  vote  of  the 
people  of  her  own  blood  and  she  is  in  fact  as  well 
as  in  name  the  mother  of  the  house.  When,  on  account 
of  increase  in  population  another  house  is  needed  the 
men  with  their  wives  that  want  it  prepare  everything 
in  advance.  The  plan  for  the  new  home  is  just  the 
same  as  the  plan  of  the  old.  The  men  who  are  all 
artisans,  build  the  house.  The  women  prepare  the 
linen  bedding  and  decorations,  paint  the  pictures, 
weave  the  rugs,  etc.  In  this  way  the  furniture  and 
decorations  of  a  house  expresses  the  individual  taste 
and  artistic  ability  and  conceptions  of  the  people  that 
live  in  it.  All  of  the  work  concerned  is  done  as  a 
pleasure  and  a  labor  of  love,  because  all  concerned 
know  that  it  is  their  own  and  their  loved  ones'  home. 

The  advantages  derived  from  this  plan  of  house 
keeping  are  too  numerous  to  mention.  The  number  of 
people  in  the  house  make  it  economical  to  keep  a 
doctor,  dentist,  druggist,  store  house,  etc.  The  doctors, 
etc.,  are  usually  members  of  the  family.  The  ball, 
music,  lecture  and  billiard  rooms,  libraries,  etc.,  offer 
a  constant  round  of  amusement  and  instruction  to  the 
family.  Grandfathers  and  grandmothers  with  their 
children  around  them  can  spend  the  evening  of  their 
lives  as  happily  as  their  childhood  days.  When  the 
girls  and  boys  reach  the  proper  age  and  desire  to 
marry  they  can  do  so  without  giving  a  thought  to 
the  morrow. 

Dear  reader,  how  do  you  think  prostitution  and 
crime  could  gain  a  foothold  in  a  house  like  this  or  a 
city  of  houses  like  this?  But  let  us  suppose  that  a 
crime  should  be  committed.  It  could  not  be  robbery, 
because  the  robber  could  not  gain  by  robbing  any 
one  of  their  money  or  labor  time  check  for  it  would  be 
of  no  use  to  him.  A  girl  could  not  prostitute  herself 
if  she  so  desired.  No  one  could  give  or  take  a  bribe 
and  there  would  be  no  incentive  to  bribery  if  they 
could.  If  a  crime  was  committed  the  criminal  could 

28 


be  easily  caught  if  he  ran  away  simply  by  publishing 
the  number  of  his  labor  check  book  and  canceling  the 
account.  Thus  he  would  be  compelled  to  surrender 
himself. 

But  it  must  be  borne  in  mind  that  there  would  be 
no  incentive  to  commit  crime  for  gain.  There  would 
be  no  incentive  to  rob  by  adulterating  goods,  food  or 
medicine.  All  citizens  having  equal  rights  in  the 
ownership  of  land  and  tools,  there  would  be  no  con- 
flicting business  interests  in  the  land,  therefore  there 
could  be  no  land  titles,  no  tax  of  any  sort.  Con- 
sequently all  the  machinery  of  law  and  government  as 
you  know  it  are  wiped  out  of  existence. 

The  head  house  keeper  and  board  of  directors  in 
every  house  are  empowered  to  enforce  the  rules  of  the 
house  and  thus,  for  instance,  if  an  inmate  drank  to  ex- 
cess and  became  offensive  the  case  would  be  reported 
to  these  and  the  evidence  heard,  and  if  guilty  the  of- 
fender could  be  effectually  disciplined  by  curtailing 
his  right  to  buy  intoxicating  liquors  and,  in  extreme 
cases  stopping  it  altogether.  By  this  simple  method 
the  great  evil  of  the  liquor  traffic  would  be  abolished. 
In  fact,  there  is  no  social  evil  that  exists  today  but 
what  could  be  easily  and  simply  abolished.  There 
are  no  fights  between  capital  anl  labor  because  there 
are  no  trade  or  labor  unions  with  their  tremendous 
waste  of  time,  money  and  energy.  Everybody  is  in 
the  same  union  that  owns  and  operates  all  the  in- 
dustries. Race  riots  and  race  antagonisms  are  un- 
known because  the  workers  would  not  and  can  not 
compete  one  against  the  other.  No  individual  can  be 
exploited  or  a  profit  made  from  their  labor,  therefore 
the  ignorant  can  not  be  robbed  by  the  intelligent. 
Thus  the  incentive  to  injustice  is  removed.  .  People 
where  all  are  surrounded  by  an  uplifting  environment 
appreciate  each  other  as  economic  and  political  equals 
and  social  relations  are  arranged  to  suit  the  individual 
taste. 

Now,  I  must  dwell  for  a  short  time  on  a  description 
of  the  incentive  to  effort.  It  is  undoubtedly  true  that 
many  are  satisfied  to  lead  the  simple  life.  But  the 

29 


great  majority  are  spurred  forward  to  achieve  fame 
and  honor  in  all  lines  of  human  activities.  The  highest 
positions  in  the  land  are  open  to  them  if  they  have  the 
ability  to  win  them.  For  instance,  in  the  fields  of  art, 
science  and  literature  a  boy,  or  girl,  or  man,  or  woman 
perfecting  an  invention  or  painting  a  picture  or  writing 
a  book,  or  making  a  useful  discovery  in  the  science  of 
medicine,  or  chemistry,  etc.,  are  rewarded  by  the  people, 
who  vote  them  labor  time  according  to  the  merit  of 
their  work.  For  instance,  a  household  can  reward  its 
best  musician  by  voting  the  individual  into  the  office 
of  master  of  music  of  the  household,  the  city  or  county, 
also  confer  rewards  when  merited.  Artists,  scholars 
and  inventors,  etc.,  when  their  work  is  accepted,  re- 
ceive what  is  considered  by  the  judges  to  be  a  just 
compensation  for  their  work.  With  this  reward  for 
their  ability  they  can  devote  their  time  to  the  work 
they  like  best.  Those  that  achieve  national  honor  are 
rewarded  by  being  made  members  of  the  faculty  of 
the  great  universities  of  the  country  where  they  are 
surrounded  with  every  thing  that  the  people  can 
furnish  in  order  to  aid  them  to  achieve  greater  victories 
in  their  art  or  profession.  What  greater  reward  could 
a  grateful  people  give  or  a  patriot  ask? 

And  now,  dear  reader,  I  will  ask  you  to  stop  and 
reason  just  a  little  while  and  ask  yourself  if  there  is 
any  part  of  the  plan  herein  outlined  that  you  consider 
far-fetched  and  impossible  of  realization.  If  you  think 
so  I  want  to  call  your  attention  to  the  work  and  plans 
of  the  great  captains  of  industry  of  the  country.  Each 
and  every  one  of  them  are  working  forward  on  a  plan 
identical  with  this  in  every  respect  with  the  exception 
that  they  aim  to  organize  the  industries  of  society  on  a 
scientific  plan  for  their  own  selfish  benefit.  They  take 
advantage  of  the  ignorance  of  you  people  to  grab  the 
railways,  gas,  water,  telephone,  telegraphs,  water 
fronts,  factories,  forests,  mines,  mills,  land  and  tools 
of  the  country.  During  the  process  of  organizing 
these  on  an  increasingly  large  scale  they  resort  to 
every  species  of  crime  and  rascality,  from  bribery  to 
murder  by  wholesale.  The  ignorant  people  look  on  at 

30 


this  tremendous  revolution  in  industrial  development 
with  little  or  no  interest,  never  realizing  that  when  the 
work  of  Rockefeller,  Harriman  and  the  other  captains 
of  industry  is  finished  it  means  that  you  as  a  nation 
will  be  simply  reduced  to  a  condition  of  industrial 
feudalism,  the  rich  to  be  a  nobility  of  money — mad 
lunatics  outrivaling  Rome  in  her  palmiest  days  of 
luxury,  vice,  crime  and  wastefulness. 

The  middle  class  will  be  salaried  officers  of  the  cor- 
porations, eagerly  and  constantly  seeking  ways  and 
means  to  gain  favor  in  the  eyes  of  their  masters,  heart- 
less, arrogant  and  domineering  to  all  below  them,  but 
cringing,  toadying,  fawning  and  humbly  submissive  to 
those  above ;  the  working  class,  the-  serfs,  that  dare 
not  lift  their  eyes  to  the  face  of  their  masters,  mere 
appendages  to  the  machines  that  their  masters  own, 
in  constant  fear  of  the  master's  blacklist  and  the  club 
and  gun  of  the  masters  guards;  mean,  contemptible, 
despicable  slaves. 

And  now,  dear  reader,  don't  think  that  this  picture  is 
one  whit  overdrawn.  The  working  class  with  few  ex- 
ceptions vote  for  industrial  feudalism  every  time  they 
get  a  chance  to  vote.  They  are  beastlike  in  their 
ignorance  and  stupidity  in  voting  for  a  system  of 
society  that  deprives  them  of  access  to  the  natural  re- 
sources of  their  country  and  makes  them  mere  de- 
pendants on  the  few  that  they  permit  to  own  the  land 
and  tools,  when  by  right,  by  justice,  by  virtue  of  their 
numbers  they  should  be  the  owners  of  their  own  land 
and  tools  and  their  means  of  living.  Just  consider  for 
a  moment  the  situation  reversed.  Imagine  the  workers 
in  the  position  of  the  masters  and  the  masters  doing 
the  work  of  the  land,  toiling  in  the  mines,  mills,  fac- 
tories and  on  the  farms  for  a  pittance,  with  strikes, 
boycotts,  evictions,  every  advance  in  wages  met  by  an 
advance  in  price  of  the  necessaries  of  life,  anxious  care 
never  absent,  living  from  hand  to  mouth,  having  to 
spend  their  hard  earned  money  to  support  their  unions 
and  pay  lodge  dues,  to  provide  for  sickness,  etc.,  to 
live  in  a  seething  hell  of  corruption,  bribery,  adultera- 
tion, graft,  heartless  landlords,  sharks  and  rascals  on 

31 


every  hand  ready  to  rob  them  of  what  little  savings 
they  might  have  gathered  at  no  telling  what  sacrifice ; 
to  look  forward  to  old  age  with  fear  and  trembling 
after  a  long  life  spent  in  toil  and  drudgery. 

Imagine  the  capitalist  class  in  this  position  with 
political  power  in  their  hands  that  would  enable  them 
to  capture  the  country  and  administer  it  for  their  own 
benefit.  How  many  election  days  would  they  let  pass, 
do  you  think,  before  they  would  combine  at  the  ballot 
box  and  capture  the  country  and  put  the  workers  back 
in  their  old  places  as  wage  slaves  ? 

CONCLUSION. 

Reader,  the  helpless  children,  mothers,  aged  and 
suffering  members  of  the  working  class  ask  you  to 
choose  whom  you  will  serve,  the  rich  or  the  poor. 
There  is  no  middle  ground.  Those  of  you  that  decide 
to  vote  for,  work  for  and  fight  for  the  property  rights 
of  the  rich  deserve  that  your  mothers,  wives,  children 
and  sisters  shall  look  upon  you  with  the  contempt  that 
you  deserve,  aye,  even  to  spit  upon  your  unhallowed 
graves.  You,  and  you  only,  have  the  power  to  banish 
the  curse  of  poverty  from  the  land.  The  times  are  por- 
tentous. Millions  of  the  working  class  are  suffering 
the  tortures  of  hell  while  you  stand  scratching  your 
stupid  head.  Duty  stands  before  you  and  demands 
that  you  take  place  in  the  ranks  of  the  army  of  Social 
revolution  and  be  prepared  to  work,  talk,  vote,  fight 
and  die,  if  needs  be,  for  your  class,  your  home,  your 
loved  ones,  for  Freedom. 


NOTICE.— The  sequel  to  the  Plan  of  Laughing 
Land  will  be  published  in  the  near  future.  The  prin- 
cipal features  of  this  edition  will  deal  with  the  pre- 
sentation of  a  practical  plan  for  the  immediate  aboli- 
tion of  poverty  and  the  ways  and  means  to  organize 
for  the  purpose  of  establishing  society  on  a  scientific 
basis.  Those  interested  are  asked  to  address  the 
author,  1234  Broadway,  San  Francisco. 

32 


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